New Year, New You? How to beat the New Year's slump

There is such a build-up to New Year’s! You’ve got your list of goals and things you want to see happen in the coming year. You’re excited by the idea of a clean slate and you are MOTIVATED. You think, This time, things will be different!

Unfortunately, when the ball drops at midnight on December 31st, it’s just another moment in time. Nothing changes. We don’t become different (better) people. New Year ≠ New You. We know this by now, but it can still be a letdown.

So...how do we deal with this reality? Should we tear up our resolutions and goals?

No way.

Your goals are worth it. The unique gifts you have to share are worth it. YOU’RE worth it.

If you’re experiencing a Post-New Year’s Slump, take a listen to the video above. I hope it will motivate you back into goal-getting gear.

Because you’ve got (amazing) work to do!

Kick Your Perfection Habit and Watch Your Dreams Come to Life

“Perfection kills dreams. Progress is what brings dreams to life.”

When I was asked in a recent interview what one message I wanted the audience to hear, that was it.

Why?

Because many of us are waiting for the PERFECT time to take action on our big dreams and goals. That’s why I said perfection kills dreams because the hard truth is…

If you’re waiting for the perfect moment, you’ll be waiting FOREVER. THERE IS NO PERFECT TIME!

I’m not yelling, I promise.

I’m just really passionate about this point. Perfectionism used to be a huge problem for me. I was really good at rationalizing reasons to stall or stop when things got murky/scary. I’d tell myself that I didn’t know enough, wasn’t skilled enough, didn’t have enough money or time, didn’t know the right people or have the right degree, I needed to wait for a sign or the perfect moment or a bulletproof plan or….

Yada yada ad nauseam.

I thought I was being smart for waiting until I was ready. I was saving myself time, effort, money, and sanity. Right?

But really, I was making excuses that came from fear.

It was fear of failure.

What if I find out I suck at this? What if I embarrass myself in front of others? What if I lose people’s respect or confidence? What if I have to face the fact that my dreams will never come true?

It was also fear of success.

Yes, even though it seems counterintuitive, I feared things going my way! Why? Because then I’d have to keep delivering. My status quo would—poof!—change and I’d have to navigate new territory. I’d face more responsibility, more pressure, more stress. Who knew that imagining success could be this overwhelming!

But here’s the thing. Whether I ended up “failing” or “succeeding” wasn’t the point. It was about trying and not having to wonder “What if?”

Making the transition from Perfectionist to Progressionist didn’t happen overnight. It started with catching myself stalling on moving forward in the name of “getting it right.” I asked myself: Could I start this now and figure it out as I go? If I finish this and put it out into the world, would that be better than waiting on the slim chance I could improve it in a way that actually matters?

It's about Progress, not perfection.

— Marie Forleo

One of my Big Dreams was to be a published author. Even after pushing through many obstacles and having a final draft of my book, Meant for More, I still had to deal with fear. What if there are mistakes? Did I share too much of myself? What if people don’t like the book...or me?

Those doubting voices could have stopped me. They might have in the past. But this time? Heck no! And guess what? I did later find some mistakes in the book. There are some sections of my book I’d write differently.

But guess what also happened, even though the book isn’t “perfect”?

I became a bestselling author and created a business to help others amp up the fulfillment and vibrancy of their lives (something I love!). I’ve also been invited to speaking engagements, attracted coaching opportunities, and expanded my network of like-minded peeps!

Dreams don’t happen when you’re comfortably ready. Every time I go for another inspired goal and exit my comfort zone, I have to practice the mindset of progress over perfection.

So just do it. If your gut is telling you that you have a great idea, solution, plan, or vision….for the love of all things holy, DO IT!

You owe it to yourself to take at least the tiniest step toward bringing that goal to life.

Do what you can. Start today. And remember...

Put your focus on progress. Not perfection.

You won’t regret it.

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What’s 1 thing you can do to shift from perfection to progression? Share in the comments below. 🙌Your idea could inspire someone! 🙌

Don’t make a life change without doing this first!

Many of us are looking to change our status quo...to make some sort of improvement to our life. The end goal may be to get a better job, improve our health, repair a relationship, clean up our debt, cut out stress...

Regardless of our particular situation, the one thing we’ve got to do before going after any goal—where we’re looking to make a successful and lasting change—is to get clear on our where, what, and why.

I call these the 3 Ws.

The 3 Ws: Your where, what, and why

Before gearing up for a major life change or planning an aspirational goal, ask yourself:

1. Where am I now?

What’s my current situation? What’s not working well? Where do I want to see a change?

2. What do I want?

What’s the dream outcome for this situation? What does achieving my goal look like and how does it make me feel?

3. Why do I want it?

Why do I want this change to happen? What’s the purpose, what do I get out of it? What’s the underlying value, need, or desire I’ll fulfill when I achieve my goal?

This is the most important step, so don’t skip it! Here's Why:

If you don’t get to the real reason behind your want, you might end up spending time, effort, and resources chasing the wrong thing! 

For example, many of us want to make a lot of money, but being rich isn’t the actual end goal. Money is a symbol for an underlying core need—it may be security, freedom, self-worth, or something else.

Get to the reason behind your goal by repeatedly asking, “Why do I want this?” until you’ve arrived at the final answer.

Want to see breaking a goal down to its “why” in action? In the video below, I introduce W #3—Why do you want it?— and show you how to get to the root desire that's within your goal.

If you’re clear on your 3 Ws before taking action on your goal, you’ll be more focused, intentional, and confident as you move forward. And most importantly, you’ll be setting yourself up for achieving what you truly want.

For a deeper dive into uncovering your wants and core needs, there’s a step-by-step process of how to do that in my book, Meant for More: Create Your Dream Life, Plan Your Path, and Start Living It Now. The book also answers the questions: How am I going to get what I want? What are the steps I need to take? You’ll not only have a clear vision of your dream outcome, you’ll have an action plan for how to get there!

Did asking "Why do I want it?" bring up any insights or surprises for you? Did uncovering your core need shift your perspective on your current goal? Share in the comments section!

Stress is killing your dreams. Here’s how to stop it.

Photo by Isaiah Rustad on Unsplash

Stress is killing our dreams.

Okay, maybe not literally. But if we’re dealing with constant stress, any goals we have that lead to a life we love are fighting an uphill battle.

How so?

Stress interferes with our decision-making skills. In a typical day, we face a lot of decisions—what’s important to do for that day, how we prioritize those tasks, what we say yes or no to, how we react to issues when they come up. When we’re stressed, the negative emotions we’re feeling—worry, panic, fear, anger—are influencing our choices, which means the decisions we make and the actions we take aren’t going to be their best.

Stress gives us tunnel vision...and not in a good way. When we’re stressed, we tend to only focus on doing what’s necessary. We have no energy to spend on anything that isn’t making us money, demanded of us, or we feel responsible to do...which means our dreams are likely taking a back seat.

Stress creates a vicious cycle of stress. Our confidence and belief in ourselves suffers each time we fail to follow through on our dreams, which piles on more stress!

So how do we STOP letting stress run our life

 so we can START slaying those #lifegoals?

By setting ourselves up for stressless success. When we treat our body and mind right, before a stress meltdown happens (and do it consistently), we stop stress before it starts.

1. Have preventative measures in place to keep stress at bay

For a Less Stressed Body:

• Quality input = quality output. You’ve heard this before but it’s so important, it can’t be glossed over: What you put into your body affects how you perform and handle life. Which means if you’re nourishing yourself with the right food and keeping hydrated, you’ll be better equipped to handle challenges.
• A tense body welcomes stress. There’s a correlation between how your body feels and your mood. When your body feels good, you’re more likely to feel good too. So keep your body flexible and tension-free with exercise and movement that makes sense for you.
• Utilize your built-in reset button...deep breathing. Since breathing is something our body does automatically, it’s often underestimated and underutilized as a de-stressing tool. Deep breathing is a quick and easy way to re-engage with yourself and melt away tension. It helps to get you out of your head and into the present moment.
• Schedule in your self-care. Yes, schedule it...just like you would anything else important in your life. Why? Because if you don’t schedule it, it’s probably not going to happen. It’s so easy to let self-care slip just like anything that isn’t making us money or is something we “have to do.” But think of it this way: Self-care actually does have monetary value and leads to greater productivity in the long term because when you’re in your best mental and physical shape, you’re going to do everything better! Ca-ching!

For a Less Stressed Mind:

• Catch negative chatter. When we think negative thoughts, we immediately start to feel crappy, right? So when your mood is going downhill, notice what you’re thinking about. Awareness of negative chatter is the first step in preventing a stressed out mind.   
• Ditch the drama for detective work. When you notice that your thoughts have turned sour, try looking at your situation like a detective would. Separate the facts from the story. Ask questions instead of jumping straight to conclusions. What do you know is true? This fact-centered approach helps reduce unnecessary anxiety and tension by providing emotional distance and objectivity.
• Know your power. You have the power to choose a different thought—look for what’s positive and what’s possible. While we can’t change what happens to us, we CAN control how we think, how we feel, and how we act. And that knowledge is power.

In my book, I go much further into why the quality of our thoughts is so important and how to make them work for you in creating your dream life. If you’re interested in a deeper dive, check out Meant for More: Create Your Dream Life, Plan Your Path, and Start Living It Now.

2. Have a plan for avoiding a stress spinout

While the above tips serve as preventative measures for unnecessary stress, they can’t prevent stress entirely. Since obstacles and challenges are a part of life, it makes sense to have a game plan for when life throws you a curveball.

Don’t have one yet? I’ve got you covered.

I created a FREE guide that will help you take down stress when it strikes. It’s called The Stress Less Guide: 4 Steps to Take Back Control of Your Life.  

It’s not that things won’t affect you any more or that you’ll become immune to stress or stressful situations, but it really does help change your perspective and reaction, which can lead to a better outcome.

Download your free guide now to get clearer, calmer, and more confident for dealing with stress.